
1927.10.23. - 2020.11.21
Joyce Kanelles
How lucky are we to have had something so special that makes saying goodbye so hard
Joyce Rose Kanelles
October 23, 1927 – November 21, 2020
Mom passed peacefully at home in the loving embrace of her two daughters and sons-in-law: Kathy & Cliff and Teresa & Dennis. Also mourning her passing are her grandchildren and their families; Melissa, Justin, Aiden & Quinn; Ashleigh, Rodrigo, Hazel & Henry; Maria, Francisco & Luca and Nick & Andre. As well, she is remembered by her nieces and nephews; George and Fran Kanelles, Angie Anton & Chuck McTigue, Christine Anton, Anna and Bernie Stoltz, Peter Anton, Stephen Perry, Linda Perry and Bryan Nelson and their families.
Mom was born to Ron and Anita Perry and raised in Vancouver; little sister (Shorty) to her brother Ron. She met Jimmy, and in him saw a love for life, a loving family and the promise of commitment and safety. When sharing stories of her life she would tell us that she never felt so free and happy as she did when walking out of the church, married to our dad. Together, they built a home in South Burnaby, a block from where Ron also built a home, and happily raised their family.
Mom had a wonderful, loving mother, but none-the-less, a tumultuous childhood. She did not however allow the unrest of her early years to rule the rest of her life. Choosing strength and happiness, she set out to create a beautiful life. Exemplifying resilience, kindness, love, happiness, empathy, and a giving nature, she was a treasured beacon for our entire family.
When mom entered high school she met Pat Ryan. They were kindred spirits, sisters not by blood, but by heart. They became lifelong best friends, with a friendship rooted in a very deep connection. Life took Auntie Pat to Montreal for the majority of her adult years but brought her back to Vancouver later in life and they found great joy in each other’s company again. Trading back and forth each weekend to host a simple dinner, but always with a beautiful table, with flowers and candles lit, followed by fine scotch and an expletive filled game of scrabble. This coming home filled mom with great happiness.
Mom left her job on Howe Street soon after marrying Dad and committed her life to what she wanted most deeply, to create a loving home, focused on her husband and children. Mom worked very hard to make her dream of a family reality. Early in their marriage Mom was in a serious car accident on New Year’s Eve that left her with a shattered pelvis, in traction in hospital for months. Mom was told she likely wouldn’t be able to have children, but after a years of trying and then years of trying again, Mom and Dad had two daughters. She was such a hands on mom, sewing us special outfits, taking us to all our lessons/games, taking us to the beach or to lunch with our Nana and Great Aunt Rosie almost weekly, joining the PTA and serving as team mom on countless teams, staying up until the wee hours of the night typing a college report as it was being created . . .
When we met and married our partners, mom loved them as her sons, and that love deepened as the years unfolded. When grandchildren came along mom fell even more deeply in love and committed to them as she had her own children: taking care of them while we worked, watching Trapper John at 3:00pm every day with a cup of tea, engaging in all of their activities, lovingly making them gongies and eggiebyes, attending every game (near and far), acting as surrogate grandparent for the grandkid’s friends who had not known their own grandparents and most importantly always engaging with the grands as individuals and instilling in them the knowledge that she loved them deeply and was so proud of them.
She was fortunate enough to see five great grandchildren join our family and the deep love, involvement and support continued with them.
We are eternally grateful that she was our mom and are in awe of her great fortitude and her deep love and commitment to every one of us in her family. We have been so blessed to have her as an integral part of our lives for so many years and it is this blessing that makes it so difficult to imagine life without her physically in it. But it is your enormous spirit mom that will keep you always with us.
Things Mom taught us;
• How to become the people we are today.
• To put family first.
• To give freely with all your heart.
• Not to let hurts and disappointments define us.
• That we could forgive, even if the situation really hurt to the core.
• To set a pretty table and to offer some yummy food.
• To be a sharp and relentless bargain hunter. And to enjoy with gleeful celebration when one is found.
• To be strong, even in your darkest hours.
• The comfort of knowing that no matter what, you love us and will always be there for us.
• To choose happiness.
• To make sure the important people know they are important.
• To be playful and seek out fun times.
• To enjoy great friends.
• To foster the gathering of family and of friends for the enjoyment of celebration together.
We will cultivate her teachings with our families and her legacy will live on.
Memories
From Maria
Nana banana . . . To be honest, my fondest memories are of shadowing her around the house or in the garden. I loved helping her with anything she needed in exchange for a heartfelt chat in the breakfast nook and a hot cup of tea, cookies or a sandwich, among other things. She was my confidant, and I always loved to talk to her about my next adventure. She would wash my hair in the kitchen sink and or roll it up into curlers as we watched Soap Operas or Judge Judy. She always preferred it when I had my hair down and got dressed up. She was such a classy lady and always looked so lovely and put together. She was cheeky and strong, but at the same time, she was affectionate and gentle. She and papa came to watch so many of our ball games; she was our biggest fan, and we were surely some of hers. Nana had beautiful handwriting. That’s something I’ll never forget. I will cherish some of the cards and letters she wrote to me forever. My heart aches at the thought of her being gone, but above all, I am thankful for having had her in my life for so many years. We were so lucky to have had her as our Nana.
From Ashleigh
One of my earliest memories of time spent with Nana was when she would look after us kids until mom got home from work. She would fix us afternoon tea, complete with orange pekoe (mostly warm milk and sugar) and royal dansk cookies, and we’d all sit around the table for a few special moments before we ran off to play. Sunday dinners were, and still are a staple of our family. When we were kids, we went to Nana and Papa’s house, ate at the well set dining table, tickled feet under the table when we got bored and retired to the basement to watch TV afterwards. We kids always found something fun to do. One of our favourites was finding the assortment of dresses nana kept from the 60’s and 70’s, and putting on our famous fashion shows for the rest of the family to enjoy! Nana and Papa taught us how to play cards. Not your typically ‘go fish’ but real cards, so that when they came to baby sit us at night, we could have a legitimately good, and very competitive card tournament when we otherwise should have been fast asleep. Thanks to them I knew how to play various forms of rummy and a mean cribbage game before I was 10 years old.
From Melissa
Shop till you drop, love hard, always play, make a mean g&t, and be there for others. Nana was a spark, a cheerful, caring, bright flame that could not be dulled. Her resiliency and positive outlook on life is something that I only came to understand and appreciate as an adult. She was always up for a good time, a laugh, a dance, a song, a story and revelled in sharing these moments with family and friends. I like to believe and take comfort in the fact that she is now singing and dancing with Papa, playing cards and getting into trouble with Aunty Pat, loving on her Mom, and connecting with her dear friends and family, whom she loved so much.
Most of my childhood memories of Nana include; tea, cookies, ham sandwiches, and McGiver! We would hang out after school, eat snacks, and watch tv upstairs in the kitchen. When we had family dinner, we were often sat at the dining room table together or downstairs in the rec room for special events. Usually, the party made its way downstairs, anyway. Nana and Papa always filled the house with music, love, and joy. There was also a lot of spinning around the slippery floor downstairs in an attempt to get a dance party going. I was always in awe of how well Nana could whistle any tune! You would find us comfortably hanging out downstairs on a more relaxed night, watching sports on TV with Papa in his chair and Nana in hers. It didn't matter what we were doing, we were together, and we all knew that's what mattered most.
In her later years, Nana loved sharing stories of her past and was delighted to hear about all of the naughty adventures from us darling grandkids. She provided so much love and care to her great-grandchildren, which is a gift they will only fully realize as they age themselves. I cherish the relationship and impact she had on their lives, and they will never forget seeing her in the stands of every hockey game she could make it to! Nana loved to watch sports and at softball games, she wasn't just my Nana, she was everyones.
Nana has given us all so much love and joy and will be so very missed. Her love and generosity extended to everyone, and I know it will leave a lasting impression on the hearts of those she touched. Nana's beautiful soul, smile, and spirit will live in us forever. We were all so lucky to have had her in our lives. We love you Nana!
From Nick
I learned so much from my Nana. It wasn’t until she passed that I started putting it all together. I do what I do and I am what I am because of her, and how she raised my Mom.
Listening to Nana talk about her annual trips to Reno helped cement the value of travel, adventures and time with friends. She helped teach me that we are the creators of our own fun, and that enjoying time with family and friends are what matter most. I bring this appreciation into my life everyday.
I’m not sure I appreciated it fully at the time, but when my sister brought her to Public Disco last year, seeing her smile as she got wheeled down the alley, is one of the most precious memories I have. I always felt like Nana didn’t and perhaps couldn’t understand my work, hobbies and interests, but this didn’t matter because she supported me no matter what I did because she knew why I was doing it, to support my community and to better our city.
When I came out to Nana she welcomed the news with understanding, and disregard for it mattering much at all. Being able to share my relationship with her was a privilege that the majority of queer people around the world do not get to have.
I am forever grateful to have had Nana in my life for 30 years. By the end of it she loved to call me her boyfriend, hug me and cuddle me, and I loved it too. Her sweetness is something that lives on within us. Her strength through immense loss and challenges helps me keep my head up no matter what’s ahead, knowing that if I do my best to be happy, love and care for those around me, life will return the favour. Because of her I know that I will live a good life, and for that I am so thankful.
Mom passed 2020/11/21 at 11:11 am
There are many interpretations of the significance of 11:11. Some believe that 11:11 is a number that signals angelic beings are close by. They come with love and protection, offering you clarity and guidance. So, when you see 11:11, think of Joyce and trust that an angel is near with a message for you to decode.
To our family
It has warmed our hearts to hear your remembrances of Mom. She was very special to us and from your memories, to you as well. We have loved hearing your stories.
To our friends
We would like to extend our most heartfelt thanks to our amazing friends, who welcomed mom into our social circle with such sincere kindness and love when she moved out to Delta to live with Kathy and Cliff. Mom loved you all and always loved spending time with you. We are forever grateful for your seamless welcoming spirit and the affection and conversation you shared with mom.
To all
Warm thanks to all our wonderful family and friends for all your love, support, calls, texts, cards, flowers and heartfelt words about Mom.